Midnight Panic Attacks

It's 2:07AM.

I have been drifting in and out of sleep all night. But a nightmare has sent me into a panic attack, and now every time I shut my eyes, the panic starts all over. So, here I am, typing this and hoping I can soon sleep peacefully.

There is a debate going on in my head, on whether or not to share what my nightmare was about. Talking about anxiety and what sets someone off can be embarrassing, because like I said in my previous post, many people don't understand ... but I think I will share.

In my nightmare I felt weird feelings in my chest, the only way I can describe it is like vibrations. So, as I often do, I checked my pulse and noticed it was very fast. I don't remember where I was in my dream, but a paramedic was there for some reason, and listened to my heart and told me to go to the emergency room. While I was walking to the emergency room I became dizzy, so someone carried me the rest of the way as I passed out. When I woke up the nurse was in my room and told me they didn't know what was wrong but they could see my heart was beating too fast. I began to cry and asked her if I was going to die because I have three little babies that I couldn't leave.

That's when I woke up.

I automatically took my pulse and it felt fast. My thoughts began to race and my head told me something was really wrong and that the dream was warning me. I took some deep breaths, which never helps me too much. I felt nauseous and short of breath. I woke my husband, feeling terrible because he wakes up early for work six days a week. I made him listen to my heart and he reassured me that I was fine. His re-assurance did help a little. He has always been able to help me with my middle of the night panic attacks, and I am thankful for that, because I know being woken up in the middle of the night has to be frustrating.

The questions and arguments began in my head, the ones that cause me to go into a cycle. 'Why is this happening? I have been doing SO good with my anxiety. It's a warning, something bad IS wrong with me .... No, this has happened before, I am fine ... No, I may not be fine this time, what if you pass it off and you die?'

So, in hopes to stop the internal arguing, I got my phone out and typed this up. I hope that by doing so, I am not only helping myself, but helping someone else. If you don't want to share your story publicly, that's fine. But maybe get your phone, computer, or a notebook out and jot down what put

you in a panic. I know sometimes panic attacks seem to come out of no where, so maybe write down what you are feeling and thinking. Focus on your breathing while writing, because while it doesn't help me completely, I have heard it does help others.

Now my eyes are heavy and I'm hoping to get some rest .....